Merchandising, merchandising, where the real money from the movie is made.

Mel Brooks was being quite honest when he said those words in his Sci-Fi spoof Spaceballs. Here, in the Office, a lot of merchandise flows through our doors and lands straight into our waste bins.
of course, plenty of these things are often books distributed by a self-publishing house. A giant ego stroke for the author, if someone is daft enough to review their published piece of tripe. But every so often, the office sees a diamond in the rough. Reputable publishing house Simon and Schuster, usually through their subdivision, Touchstone, send us something worth reading. Some selections include Will Thomas' Victorian thrillers, Bill Giles Memoir and even a cookbook from the Sneaky Chef.

But that is not all that we receive in this office. Just this week, I received mail from Queen Elizabeth I herself. Apparently, she is alive and well and lives at 2775 Lebanon Rd., Manheim, Pa 17545. So either that was the exact location of the acclaimed Fountain of Youth or I received yet another press packet from the Pennsylvania Renaissance Faire. If you bet on the latter, you'd be right.
But all was strange and mysterious about this one. They had changed tactics and instead of a brown manila envelope I received a tube.

What could be inside? Was it a trap? If it was It was a stupid one, thankfully I wear glasses or I may have followed Christopher Marlowe to the grave. As a promotional item, they enclosed a pen in the shape of a broadsword which may come in handy because I hear the rodents are taking up armed rebellion again.

But It still isn't one of the most interesting pieces that have been sent to this office. Thanks to the marketing department ofEastern State Penitentiary, I am the proud owner of a blue satin yarmulke.
But the most tasty gift came from Mrs. Fields, they sent a tin of cookies.